Near the end of his book, Do Fathers Matter? What Science is Telling Us About the Parent We’ve Overlooked, Paul Raeburn writes this:
Multiple studies suggest that fatherlessness
is a major contributor to crime and juvenile delinquency; premature sexuality and out-of-wedlock births to teenagers;
deteriorating educational achievement; depression, substance abuse,
and alienation among adolescents; and the growing number of women and
children in poverty. That list
comes from David Popenoe of Rutgers University,
who says the decline of fatherhood “is a
major source behind many
of the most disturbing problems that plaque American society.” (Emphasis
mine. P. 221)
That a book with the
title, Do Fathers Matter? has to be
written at all, is telling. In the
beginning of the book Raeburn says that up until the 1970’s almost every major
scientific study done on parenting was done on moms. And the research discovered what we intuitively know: Moms
are absolutely necessary.
Very few studies were done on the impact of Fathers. And even though no studies were done to
suggest that dads are irrelevant,
The irrelevancy of fathers had become an
article of faith among researchers, and
why would any of them question what they knew to be true? (p. 6)
But once research was
done on dads, Science showed that not only do dads matter, they matter a lot.
The belief that dads
don’t really matter, however, runs deep in our culture. Magazine articles and news pundits
often debate the importance of dads around Father’s Day. You’d never have those conversations
about moms around Mother’s Day.
You’d never see a book published with the question, Do Moms Matter?
Could it be that dads
have been made to feel irrelevant so they make themselves irrelevant and then
it becomes a cultural norm that dads are irrelevant? It doesn’t help that fewer American dads are participating
in the lives of their children now than at any time since the U.S. began
keeping records (p. 13). A
self-fulfilling prophecy?
And yet, as the opening
quote suggests, making dads irrelevant creates all kinds of family and societal
problems. Could it be the much of
the unrest in our country today traces itself to the marginalizing of dads?
While debates about
flags and guns are important, perhaps we can start on something that the
majority of us can buy into; something that speaks to the systemic issues:
·
What if communities and religious groups and the
Government put a full court press on raising boys to be relevant, good
dads?
·
What if media presentations of dads/men were
positive rather than the stereotypical picture of the dad/man as a buffoon?
(See, for example, Cheerios excellent dad commercial!)
·
What if we believed and embraced the science
that says that dad is crucial to the well-being of our society?
·
What if we affirmed what the Bible says, that
men/dads are created in the Image of God—male, and that we need the male and
female Image of God working together to bring healing to our families, our
communities, and our country?
Could dad be the key to
bringing healing to our country?
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