New Podcast: The Wonder of Parenting

Around 2 am on June 18, 1980, my wife, Jan, woke me up to tell me it was time.  Our firstborn was on the way!  I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom to get ready to head to the hospital.  But in the bathroom, I stopped, looked myself in the mirror, and in a panic said, “I’m not ready for this!” 

At that moment, like every first-time parent, I had no idea how to be a parent.  Though my parents and grandparents were fantastic role models and caregivers, watching someone parent and parenting are two very different things. 

Wouldn’t We Love Having An “Owner’s Manual” to Parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great if our kids came to us with an owner’s manual?  A built-in how-to manual giving us step-by-step instructions on how to raise them?  And to make it even better, how about adding in a parenting guru or two to offer advice along the way?

My own daughter is now 38 years old.  My son is 35.  And Jan and I now have five grandchildren.  I’ve learned a lot about parenting (and grandparenting) over the last 38 years—much of it through trial and error, gut instinct, learning from others, and from my kids themselves.  I’ve had to create my own “owner’s manual” from my own life.

But about 12 years ago, I discovered that our kids do come with an owner’s manual, if we know how to look.  While this manual doesn’t provide step by step instructions, it does give foundational insights into our boys and girls that can offer us significant guidance and direction. 

That owner’s manual is the brain.

About 12 years ago I was introduced to the work of Dr. Michael Gurian.  In my work as a pastor I was just beginning to come to terms with the challenges that boys are facing in life, school, the church, and culture.  I was so moved by Michael’s work and insights that I sent him an email assuming that this famous New York Times Best-Selling Author wouldn’t have the time to respond back.  But he did!  The very next day!

And his response began what is now a 12-year friendship and partnership in working with people like you on the issues of our boys and girls, using the brain as our starting point. 

Out of that friendship we’ve created both secular and faith-based Rites of Passage programs for girls and boys, 12 – 14 years old (www.timwrightministries.org) and we are honored to provide amazing Helping Boys Thrive Summits together (www.helpingboysthrive.org). 

Now, fully engaging with new technologies, we are also launching a new podcast called The Wonder of Parenting.  Each weekly 25 to 30 minute episode will focus on the daily issues you as parents face and we will always use brain science research, best practices, and our own experiences as parents to help you connect with the wonder of parenting.

My role is to serve as the host.  On your behalf I get to pick Michael’s brain on all things parenting.  Michael is a treasure trove of insight, experience, heart, soul, and love for what he does.  To have access to him weekly, to hear his parenting stories, to take his insights into the brains of our sons and daughters and apply them to parenting makes for a one-of-a-kind, unique parenting resource. 

A Treasure Trove of Topics, Science, and Common Sense

In the 12 years I’ve known Michael I’ve heard him speak countless times.  He and I have spent hours and hours talking on the phone or in the car or at events.  And yet, in every podcast we have recorded, I learn something new. 

The topics are always current and practical, ranging from “how moms and dads parent differently” to “best screen time practices for different ages of kids” to “the importance of family meals” to “raising kids in a gender fluid world” to “when and how to talk about sex” and much more.  And each of these important topics is rooted in brain science, so the insights Michael offers stand the test of time.

Parenting should be a wonder-filled experience, even when it is tough going.  Our podcasts will be very positive experiences, and we promise to find the heights and depths of the journey with you.

The Wonder of Parenting is free but priceless! I hope you’ll subscribe and tell your friends to do the same.  Listen to us in the car, while you’re working out, or over a cup of coffee as you take a mental break.  I know you’ll walk away with a deeper sense of wonder and awe at the privilege of being a parent.

To learn more, to subscribe, or to post a question for a future podcast, check out our website:  www.wonderofparenting.com

Could Dad be the Key to Healing our Country?

Near the end of his book, Do Fathers Matter? What Science is Telling Us About the Parent We’ve Overlooked, Paul Raeburn writes this:  

Multiple studies suggest that fatherlessness is a major contributor to crime and juvenile delinquency; premature sexuality and out-of-wedlock births to teenagers; deteriorating educational achievement; depression, substance abuse, and alienation among adolescents; and the growing number of women and children in poverty.  That list comes from David Popenoe of Rutgers University, who says the decline of fatherhood “is a major source behind many of the most disturbing problems that plaque American society.”  (Emphasis mine.  P. 221)

That a book with the title, Do Fathers Matter? has to be written at all, is telling.  In the beginning of the book Raeburn says that up until the 1970’s almost every major scientific study done on parenting was done on moms.  And the research discovered what we intuitively know: Moms are absolutely necessary.   Very few studies were done on the impact of Fathers.  And even though no studies were done to suggest that dads are irrelevant,

           

The irrelevancy of fathers had become an article of faith among researchers, and why would any of them question what they knew to be true?  (p. 6)

But once research was done on dads, Science showed that not only do dads matter, they matter a lot.

The belief that dads don’t really matter, however, runs deep in our culture.  Magazine articles and news pundits often debate the importance of dads around Father’s Day.  You’d never have those conversations about moms around Mother’s Day.  You’d never see a book published with the question, Do Moms Matter?

Could it be that dads have been made to feel irrelevant so they make themselves irrelevant and then it becomes a cultural norm that dads are irrelevant?  It doesn’t help that fewer American dads are participating in the lives of their children now than at any time since the U.S. began keeping records (p. 13).  A self-fulfilling prophecy?

And yet, as the opening quote suggests, making dads irrelevant creates all kinds of family and societal problems.  Could it be the much of the unrest in our country today traces itself to the marginalizing of dads?

While debates about flags and guns are important, perhaps we can start on something that the majority of us can buy into; something that speaks to the systemic issues:

·      What if communities and religious groups and the Government put a full court press on raising boys to be relevant, good dads? 

·      What if media presentations of dads/men were positive rather than the stereotypical picture of the dad/man as a buffoon? (See, for example, Cheerios excellent dad commercial!)

·      What if we believed and embraced the science that says that dad is crucial to the well-being of our society? 

·      What if we affirmed what the Bible says, that men/dads are created in the Image of God—male, and that we need the male and female Image of God working together to bring healing to our families, our communities, and our country?

Could dad be the key to bringing healing to our country?